Stop the presses!

Posted: 08/19/2015 in Screwed
Tags: ,

The Tea Party is losing its collective mind.  I know, I know, that’s not exactly news, but this is: un-noted Tea Party author Jack Cashill has published “the list”.  He claims that four GOP presidential contenders are not “natural born citizens” and therefore are not eligible to run for President: Senator Ted Cruz , Senator Marco Rubio, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, and former Senator Rick Santorum.  This is just an initial list, understand — he’s still digging. And what does Cashill consider to be the most important bit of “proof” in all this? First off, Santorum’s father was an eye-tal-yun.  Who knows where the son’s loyalty lies?  Cashill’s not certain where in the Constitution the loyalty test comes from, but he’s sure it’s there somewhere.  And the rest? Well, Marco Rubio obviously can’t be a real American with a name like that, and Governor Jindal calls himself Bobby when his name is really Piyush.  If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is.

But Ted Cruz provides the best grounds for being disallowed: it turns out that he’s not a citizen of the U. S.  You know what that means — he can’t even be a Senator!  A timeline of his family’s history shows that his parents became Canadian citizens just before Teddy-boy, whose real name is Rafael, was born in Canada, which means he doesn’t get automatic duel US citizenship through his mom (the very thing he wanted to deny Barack Obama back when the “birthers” were going great guns), but rather that he was born a Canadian only.  And since he recently forswore his Canadian citizenship (prior to running for President), he’s a man without a country.

You know what that means: he’s here illegally.  Rafael Cruz, ex-Cuban, ex-Canadian, never-US, is an illegal!  And you know what his Tea Party says about people like that.

TCruz

Be seeing you.

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