At least it wasn’t you — well, not yet, anyway

Posted: 11/26/2014 in Screwed
Tags: , , ,

Army Reserve member Christa Engles was changing her toddler’s diaper when the kid pulled a 9 mm Springfield semi-automatic handgun and shot her in the head.  “I’ve seen the future and I’m not letting you get away with it!” the three-year-old child reportedly shouted as he ran from the room.  The grandmother, who heard the commotion and discovered the body, said her grandson had toilet training “issues”.  Later on, after careful questioning by the police using tactics approved by the President, the murderer admitted that he was simply afraid his mother would kill him someday since she always had the gun handy when he needed his diaper changed.

“Well, what can you expect from Oklahoma?” a policeman freely stated, adding, “Of course, that’s not for publication.”

Personally I think that tide and the tables are turning.  Perhaps evolution has found a way to offset the problem of kids dying from being shot before they’re old enough to reproduce.  Darwin would be proud.


Be seeing you.

  1. Oh my god I clicked through, this isn’t satire.

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