Tourist needs hook after Disney ride

Posted: 07/15/2014 in Screwed

Some Brit tourist came over here and couldn’t find anything better to do than go to Disneyland and get the tips of several fingers sliced off on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.  I’m tempted to say that any adult who deliberately goes to Disneyland of his own free will (as opposed to being blackmailed by a six-year-old) kinda deserves what he gets, but as that would literally be adding insult to injury, I won’t say that.  Instead I’ll say that I hope he enjoys the tons of money his lawyer is about to make.  Hopefully, some of it will trickle down to the tourist.  Maybe he can get himself a hook for that hand.

When Disney management was asked about this (and other ride safety issues), they sent out spokeswoman Andrea Finger to confirm the accident to the press.  Ms. Finger?  Really?  Could Disney be more cynical?  Can’t you imagine the conversation that went on around the big table in their main office?

“Well, hell, another guy lost his fingers — what the heck do we need to do?”  Guy chews on his cigar and looks menacing.

“I know, let’s give ‘im the Finger, that’d be appropriate!”  Uproarious laughter flows around the table.

Or maybe not.  Maybe they don’t have that good a sense of humor.  But I’d like to think they do.  In spite of the evidence at their business that they don’t.


Be seeing you.


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