Rape is rape, mostly

Posted: 05/30/2014 in Screwed

Hey, Mandy Boardman, I understand.  It’s such a hassle getting your wife to actually like you.  Some might say near impossible.  Let’s face it, you’re not a very likable person.  It’s not really your fault, it’s just that life seems so hard.  Sometimes you just need a little love and understanding.  And it’s not like you did anything to your wife that she hadn’t willfully participated in before.  Besides, it’s part of her wifely duties.  So why go through all that hassle when you can just slip some drugs into her food?  It must have worked pretty well.  You got away with it for three years.

Indiana County Judge Kurt Eisgruber seemed to agree.  After all, he gave you no jail time and ordered your ex-wife to forgive you.  Us guys got to stick together, amiright?  And that house arrest he gave you, well, that’s just for the media.  Left up to him, the judge would have let you walk completely.

Hey, I understand.  Your wife divorced you and you’re lonely there at home all by yourself.  You’d like some company.  I know, how about if that judge joins you in your sentence?  Oh, and judgey-poo…you just might want to hire a food taster.


Be seeing you.


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